How my CD "KAREN" came out

KAREN has a real original Story. Perhaps not so original as you imagine, but for me it is always an original experience.

With this phrase I think I have redimentioned expectations :-D

I decided to share with you this little/big drama. Yes at the end it was a drama. It's not a grave drama or unsolvable one but it put in highlight certain strange scenarios.

First of all: who is KAREN ?

Yes "who" and not "what". She's a person I met some years ago ( at the end 2007 begining 2008 ).

Where ? And in what manner ?

This is the natural curiosity that's in you :)

Of course, those are the questions I have too, if I'm reading a story like this one.

"KAREN W. " ( the first letter of her familyname ) was just working in the same Company where I was working too. We had different tasks and different levels too.

One day, just due working coincidence, I met her.

What is happened then ?

Don't start to imagin Holliwood's scenes please :-)

I was not falling in love as you first have imagined :D I know you, I'm reading in your mind :) Please try to be superior and disconnect for a while yourself from the brainless-mass of hte rest of humankind ... ok ? Just for a while ... I should say: two-three minutes ;)

Well I looked her in her eyes directly as normally I do with persons, and I simply checked out something strange on her, something not common, something that should investigated.

That "something" I felt beautiful.

Once at home, in the evening, I got strange sensations ... I was thinking to her, to her eyes, to her face, to her delicate design.

I put her aside, and I continued my life for a while. But her "picture" was popping back up ... uhmm ...

In the days after this, there was the occasion to meet her for not-working reasons, just to have fun with companions. I just invited other employees together with her ( of the same Company ) to flight together ( I'm pilot of little airplanes: Cessnas ).

It was a beautiful December's days of 2007.

On that evening at home I had the same sensation I had the first time I met her.

Despiting normal human reactions, I'm always hypercritical towards myself as well as with the other and I asked myself:"Hey Tormy, are you falling in love with her ? Uhm That cannot, it's very clear that your world and her worlds are really faraway from eachother" ... but the answer to me without lying was:"No ... I'm not really falling in love with her, I just saw something in her mind, in her soul, is actracting me. It's not my intention to create with her anything, or to try with her anything" ... furthermore she has her boyfriend already and so on ... she has HER life ... so the word NO must be in practice. Perhaps the design of her eyes/mouth/nose, very fine as an Elf where actracting my attention, but from there on, to think to other kind of attraction(s): is another story. Not mine one for sure.

This was the true ... but while I was thinking this, I was working with my PC and some Synth program ... I start playing and I start getting the first melody out. At that point her picture was popping out strongly on my mind.

I thought she was just give me this, so I had to put it out definitely.

I start playing, just start playing, improvising ... and I created the full part 1 of KAREN ... in few minutes it was almost as you are listening to now from the CD.

Well, I start to work on it in order to get a final piece of music, when meanwhile I got another melody on my mind strong as well ... So I simply written on a piece of paper the first 4-5 notes ( just their names ) in order to avoid to forget it.

That evening I finished the first part but I decided to go ahead with the second part.

In the beginning I was thinking to create two songs, but afterwards I decided that it was more natural to put them together in only one song, divided in two sections.

The day after, I refinished the first part with my voice, some effects over and the drum and I started to create the scond part.

But those 4-5 notes were tell me something and nothing at the same time.

So that I wanted to create a background based on the chord sequence I had in mind and written on this paper, and I left my soul "go away with the guitar". Whatever I created: this was what she communicated so what I will get and work on it.

I took my guitar, I start the player and I recorded myself ... just improvisation ... what it was, just it was ... not matter wat.

I knew she is born in January, the 20th, and I knew that on that period, the major constellation in the sky is ORION. The most beautiful constallation ever existed.

I left my own mind to go away ... up there ... meanwhile I was playing without paying attention on what I was playing, in what manner and so on ... I just stopped when I felt to stop.

And the part 2 was created in this way ...

I finished it just balancing the level of the instruments among eachother and stop.

The other two days I was just thinking to this two pieces and I decided to make her a gift for her birthday. Indeed I started to compose in December around 17-20th and just a month later there was her B-Day.

So why not ? I was thinking it was an original gift.

Well, from that moment on I suspended to compose ... when few days later I had the same strong "presence of her" in my mind and it came the rest of the things in the same manner.

The huge work was to mount all the tracks together. Not because I had to find the ideas, but just technical job with a PC and a program that is everything ... except performing -.-

At this point I started with the artwork, the CD Label and so on.

Initially it was very different than the last one you can see in my Shop, but extremely similar in the concept.

Unfortunately, due technical reasons ( one technical and another: human .... this will see later on ), I couldn't publish the same original one in the Phycis release of the CD.

Anyway I wrote something to her into the orignal CD's Book-let. A phrase that sweetly and kindly, as with a delicate woman you have to act, tells her exactly waht was the situation. Of course: in romantic manner

"Dear Karen

The music that I here composed was inspirated to my heart by you.

Your smile, your look, your sweet aspect, gave this music to my soul. to sing the notes recorded on this CD.

Even if it was for only one day.

I have to thank you for this beautiful gift that you, with justyour been gave to me.

So that now I will give you these sounds, these creatures.

A flower has a duration of a moment. Music, when created with the heart, stays forever.

As forever this music is fully talking about you.

Tormy"

How's gone when I gave her the CD ?

Well, she thanks me a lot ... and from that moment on, she took huge distances from me.

Fantastic :) I thought that a person of 30-36 year was capable to clear out some doubts is coming on her mind.

But it's not so as I can see. I was wrong to think about her maturity then ?!

Well, I behaved always in kind way with her but I kept distance as well, I mean: without making a second CD for her :-))))

really ... but I mean it should be clear that this action is romantic. It's true. But it was not ment as "proposal" or even as "arrasement" ... just a perfect idiot can think even to the second hypothesis. Come-on ! How can I pretend to have something interesting for a woman that other men have not ! What do you think ? That I'm not able to evaluate this ? I have simply NOTHING ... so that why I had to be so idiot to try something with her ? ( as well as with another one ... the fact doesn't change )

From my side, it was just a GIFT ... as I told her:"you don't have to thank me ... just you communicated to me what there is into this CD ... I just put it out ... You have to thank yourself".

My words were TRUE ... no second meaning(s) AT ALL. What for a sick mind can think to second meaning when my message is clear: I don't feel anything else than friendship for you, I just FELT this music you suggested me and stop.

After some month, due this fucking economical crisis, the department I was directing was closed and they were constrained to fire personnel. I lost my job. ( Thank you US's financial multinationals for this crisis ! Fuck you up definitely ! )

Well, I lost her contacts except the one on Linkedin.com but I don't use it for friendship businesses at all. I use it ONLY for Professional use. So that not any eMail for friendship will never ever start from there.

But one day, recently, I saw her in Facebook. Well I launched an invitation. Just to tell "hello".

Really as friend! What can I do with Facebook that she cannot lock and/or delete ?

But just so, as I can reach each one of you and simply greating him/her.

Well, not only she deleted the first one, but neither:"hallo" ...

Do I stink ?

Do I told her: listen I wanna fuck with you ?

Do I did anything bad ?

Do I did anything dust to her ?

Anything for sure from my side/intentions. Frankly talking I could clear out with written words the previous situation and perhaps misunderstanding, if her in Facebook had to remarks something about ... but definitely she cut all out. So in the reality I have only suspiciousness about her thoughts but no reasons. Not a REAL reason for such behavior.

I can understand that in her culture, in her country ( Belgium - West Vlaanderen ) where the majority are extremely materialist, such action it can be misanderstood. I mean: if I dedicate a CD with romantic words in a cover to a woman, she think: he wants to come to the bed with me.

But in MY culture and in the culture of several other Nations in the world, it stays a very romantic action but STOP.

If the man has other intentions, he will express them. Otherwise it means: it's just a special gift and don't think to other things.

Well, now I don't feel any music anymore when I think to her, and I deleted into the other releases of that CD the "sweet words" I written at that moment ( here the human reasons I was talking above, in the beginning ). But I feel just compassion for a little human been uncapable to communicate correctly with the others and the other cultures ( that's probably her culture, her environment ), except for only ONE single casual moment on her life ... when I looked into her eyes.

This is the "drama" accompanied "KAREN" so you can consider it a "melodrama" or better a drama described with Melody ;)

I seriously invite you to buy that CD because this Story is inside, expressed by the music ;)

http://www.reverbnation.com/store/view_item_album/artist_160227?item_id=161177

P.S. perhaps she wanted I had to jump on her physically and doing sex sex sex sex ... that's why she's angry with me: I didn't :-D hahahahahahaha It's a joke of course :D but knowing the mentality here ... mmmmhhhhh ... strange one :D